When you see a little person {babies & toddlers} take a moment.
Breathe. Assess. Is the child wearing head-to-toe pink? Is there I’m A
Boy scribbled across the front of the t-shirt? Yes? Then it’s safe to
mention the child’s gender. I give you permission to remark: What a beautiful
girl! to the child wearing the head-to-toe pink. And to the little one with I’m A Boy across his top? You can say: What a handsome little man
you are!
And if you can’t tell. Say nothing. Not nothing about all. But don’t
mention the gender. Play it safe. Can’t think of anything to say? Let me give
you a few ideas:♥ Oh, you’re such a bundle of cuteness!
♥ Look at you, so big and walking already!
♥ You have such a beautiful smile. Look at those
toothy-pegs!
♥ You’re little one is so so beautiful. Congratulations.
♥ Oh my! You’ve got a heart breaker on your hands there.
This one is just as bad as when people ask, “Oh, when are you due??” I wasn't, just an FYI.
@Melifaif: NO THEY DIDN'T! Did they? Are people seriously missing their sensitivity chip?
Ooh ooh, me too!! I am expecting now, but many times when I was not expecting people would ask me when I was due. It made me sooooo mad!! If a woman is not obviously giving birth like the next day don't say a word about it unless they do!!! It would really hurt my feelings. I realize that I need to lose some weight, but geez, get a freaking clue!!
@Penny: I'm the same as you. Unless I know that someone is soooo obviously pregnant, I don't say a thing.
I haven't been asked since I've had Lacey, but before I was pregnant with her… one lady put her foot in it a FEW times. She's a whacko!
I hear you! It seems like everytime I go out people are calling my daughter a boy. Hello?! She's wearing pink people. My solution? I put her in a tutu. I challenge anyone to call her a boy when she's in a tutu.
Raya is always called a boy over here and because her nickname is ray or raya people are even more confused. In Spain where little girls get their ears pierced she was always called a boy even when she was wearing pink.
I agree – people need to not focus on gender
This happens to my little boy, “Oh, he's too pretty to be a boy”. WTF?! Check out this link: http://www.girlsgonechild.net/2009/10/seriously-shes-wearing-pink-tights-and.html
Yes I know exactly how you feel. I get it all the time with my little girl, even with her hair being a bit longer than Lacey's (she's 17 months old). I try not to let it bother me but it is hard. People can be insensitive.
When I had my first daughter she always got called a boy even when wearing head to toe pink….I used to take offense, but then i changed my way of thinking…if someone is taking the time out to say “something nice” about your child, it must mean that you have one cute little bubba, boy or girl, so then I started to take it as a compliment – even if it was the wrong gender…it really works!!!
Chantelle there is not a day that goes by where Liam gets called a girl. When I correct them I always get told he must be a girl with all the curly hair and eyelashes. They still tell me I have it wrong!
Its usually pensioners and the security guard at Coles in Surry Hills. I am in there nearly every second day and the security guard always tells me my little girl is so cute. I just ignore him now.
Liam wears boys clothes mainly in blue, I still don't get some people.
Byron my 2 year old aways gets called a girl! I think it's his unusually long eye lashes!!
I just smile and hope that they realise and silently die on the inside! ha!!
Angus also has hair envy as it is very fair and fine. Dressed all in blue I get told he is a pretty girl. My friends daughter wwith long hair and all pink gets told she is a lovely boy.
I just say that bub is a cutie patootie if in doubt.
Yep I have had Zoe dressed in all pink and people remarking on what a wonderful boy she is – what the? On the other hand my husband has been known to ask the gender when the little girl is wearing pink. Hopeless.
1. ppl are dumb asses. lacey is more girley girl than a ballerina!;)
2. kim kardashian was told congrats for being pregnant yesterday, when it is her sister that is 8 mths pregas!
3. ppl are dumbasses
love you
sis xx
I have a hard time telling babies apart sometimes (who doesn't?) but I always say “what a lovely child” and then the parents will usually make a comment including their gender, or tell me his/her name, which usually helps! 🙂
ahhh well, zak got his own back yesterday for all those times he got called a girl (oh, and every now and then? still gets called a girl & he's 3 on monday, so clearly past the confused baby stage).
we passed a guy who lives near us with really long hair (down to his bum) fishing with his back to us and zak demanded rather loudly approximately eight times as we walked past him: “mum I NEED a fishing rod like that lady. I WANT to fish like that lady. See that lady? I want to fish with her too.” at least he has an excuse to be confused: how else would a child know from the back when all you see is long hair and he can't see any “hills” (his word for boobs)!!!!
Oh I remember those days. My daughter had an unusually large head, short curly hair and was rather chunky and people would ALWAYS ask, “How old is HE?” and I would very calmly reply, “SHE is one (or whatever age she was at the time.)” As she got a bit older, she LOVED the color orange and so that drew it out for a while longer. (Don't girls wear orange?) Anyway, I concur. Don't make comments that include the sex of the child. A simple, “So cute.” will do. 🙂
That is just so weird! I think that you should poster your neighbourhood and get this out there. People need to know! Gender doesn't really matter & isn't crucial to your baby talk!
People do this to me all the time…..only I have a boy & they mistake him for a girl. I just assume it's because he is sooo pretty. lol
A lot of people never think before they speak. The most obnoxious thing I people say to me is “Oh, well, maybe next time you will have a girl.” Seriously? How can you assume I am dissapointed to have boys. So rude.
That is the worse! I would never say anything!
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU. My daughter is 2 and a half and has no more hair than the day she was born. It doesn't matter what we dress her in. It's always, “How handsome!” or “Aren't you a good big brother?” It's giving her a complex. It doesn't help that my MIL SWEARS that I'm cutting her hair, and only buys her clothes in yellow and green.
My friend brought her baby over to our party and I felt so awkward for her when people starting asking her “Is that a girl or a boy?” I mean aren't there more subtle ways of determining gender or as you said, just nice gender neutral things to say?
I have this idea in my head that I won't care if people confuse the gender of my bub. I wonder if it will change when bub is actually here? I quite like non-gender specific clothes, orange, purple, green, spots, stripes, etc. I know so many people that hate it when people confuse their boy for a girl or vice versa, but I don't get it. I'll let you know what the reality is like!
A couple of years ago my 5yr old had longish hair. Not really my choice – my Hubby liked it. Anyway, his hair is also a gorgeous red (he calls it “orange” and he LOVES it) and people would always stop and comment on his hair. The longer it got, the more people would say, “What a lovely little girl!” And he'd be wearing jeans and a blue top with a truck on the front or something! AAGH! Feel your pain.
hi I have just discovered your blog and had to comment as I dont think ive laughed so hard or almost cried over a blog before….yours is fabulous!
this post has bought back many memories as my son was born with stunning black curls and long eye lashes and always got called a girl
I remember his first christmas we sent out cards and got a zillion phone calls from rellies checking to make sure that we had actually had a boy and not a girl as they were all convinced the baby in the card was a girl lol
but dont despair there is hope, my son is now 5 and very very boyish 🙂
Elizabeth Saxe Coburg-Gotha is an evil woman, why do we slave away at work our whole lives for money with her face on