How do you do it all?
, people ask me.
And my answer is, I don’t do it very well.
Days are jam packed, quality sleep is a distant memory, to-do lists are constantly running though my head and multi-tasking is the new black. Life is a huge game of tetris.
What’s that? A spare 3.5 minutes? I could probably slot in baking a batch of muffins in there. Four minutes? I can have a quick game of playdough with my daughter. There’s a block of 14.3 minutes there? I could probably get the vacuum out and give the house a quick once over.
Tasks are done in a hurry, without much love or thought. But they’re done. Most of the time. Some of the time. Mediocre is my new standards. I no longer strive for perfection. Mediocre suits me just fine. Most of the time. Some of the time.
And this is life. It’s one big juggling act. Managing life, and trying to slot in work, being a good parent/wife/friend/person, and trying to find a perfect balance of everything seems to an elusive goal for many. I know I’m not alone. I hear the cries from mothers near and far.
Just when you think you have it mastered, something comes undone, or something else pops up and you realise you have to figure it all again {or restart the whole game of tetris} until you’ve got everything worked out again.
How do you manage your life? Do you let some things slide? Do you make other things a priority? Where are you on your priority list? I’d love to hear your tips, tricks or tales of woe. xx
Whenever I am faced with having to choose between two activities (clean house or take kids for a walk), I think to myself ” which activity will even be remembered in 10 years time” I will always choose the walk 😉 Moral: don't put to the head of the line activities that no one will remember or care about down the line!
PS…my grown guys have MANY fun memories because of that theory
My partner and I are both really committed to making sure we both have time alone to do what we love. We both work part time in our main jobs, my 3 y.o daughter goes to daycare part time and my husband and I both have a day at home alone once a week to do what we love ( him = garden, me= sew). housework is a low priority but catching up with friends and their children is a huge priority.
And to top all of that you have time to blog and be part of the blogging community, that is truly amazing.
I really want to get into blogging more than just once a week. It'll happen somehow and whenever hopefully soon!
Great post Chantelle! You must've been reading my mind! I had been thinking about the same thing just yesterday.
I am now slowly letting go of things like housework. Having a neat, clean home used to be a priority, but it takes the back seat now. Quality time with my little family comes first.
I never seem to be able to get the balance right. I certainly don't know how you full time working Mumma's do it!
I forgot to mention…
I have put bubba into daycare one day a week, mainly to develop her social skills and learn independence from me, but also for my sanity. Fridays is now MY day. I need it very, very much.
I prioritise and I have realised that I can't do everything. For me, it's important that I do a few things well, than lots of things mediocrely.
I also write a list every morning of the things I want to achieve that day. I find it really helps.
Most importantly I hired a cleaner! Best. Thing. I. Ever. Did!
You said it perfectly when you said that just when you think you have it worked out, something unravels.
That is exactly how I feel. Iam constantly worrying about the next thing to do, and its driving me bloody nuts.
I wish someone would hurry up and create a machine that washes, dries AND folds AND puts away the washing.
Oh wait, that would be me. ha!
I think you have to learn how to give things up and prioritise – you'd go NUTS if you tried to get everything done, perfectly. It's not worth the stress. My washing will stay on the floor 1 more day if that means I can spend an extra 15 minutes with my babies while they're at home and awake.
I like how you call it A Tetris Life – it's exactly like that!
I sadly have no tips. If, by the end of the day, the kids are fed and happy, job done for me. Hell, if we are all alive some days, that is a miracle! The rest is just…..stuff.
I have a short spell in hospital next week, and am quite fascinated to see how my lovely husband manages to juggle what he percieves as his “ideal job” of staying home with the kids with the “stuff”…..
oh, Chantelle, I hear you.
I struggle with this everyday. I have two little babies, who almost always refuse to sleep at the same time, and are also now refusing to feed at the same time, so my available hours/minutes are even fewer and more far between. But I have insisted on a few tiny things to help make life easier. T has to take his work shirts to the drycleaner. That saves me washing and ironing. And it only costs $10 per week. A small price to pay for domestic harmony. And the other thing is that I get someone to come in to do the 'big cleaning things' (bathrooms, floor mopping, etc)every fortnight. I would eat soup every night to keep affording this if I had to. Other than that, I set myself only one achievable thing to do for the day. Any more than that makes me too stressed, I freeze, and nothing gets done 🙂
You must have something worked out though – hey, you even managed to write a book!!!! (which is fabulous by the way)
I seem to have the opposite problem in a way. I have TOO much time. I am used to being a full time teacher and mum. it was go go go everyday, getting my eldest to daycare, me to work and then back home again. housework was always a low low priority for me, and we'd do a clean on the weekend and that was that. now that I am on mat leave, it still is. I am SO not a housewife. My eldest is now at preschool, my baby is a dream and sleeps through the night. There are a million and one things that I could do around the house, painting, gardening, etc as well as the housework but I just have NO motivation. I end up having to get out of the house and go to the mall where I spend money we dont have.
someone tell me how to be a housewife?!?!?!?!
don't know how we do it but we seem to soldier on & carry on i guess. sometimes i wonder how i mange to get cooking done,housework & play with my little man while my other two are at school – i surprise myself when i even get a blog in or two and a painting here and there.i must admit there are days i wish i could stay in bed or have cleaning fairies but i don't ..it is totally like a tetris game …. most importantly you do want is right for you & family and what works for you xX
How timely. I was just thinking about the Happy Mail Exchange and about how much time it must have taken you to organise it all. Add that in with all your blogging and family life and no wonder life is like a Tetris game.
Since having BuBba, my brain is like a sieve so my iPhone calendar is my saviour. Cleaning is one of the things that is low on my priority list so I scrimp in other areas so that I can pay a cleaner to come – once a fortnight only but better than nothing.
oh heck where do I start?
I think I have just learnt to let things go, instead of trying to cram more and more in.
Leave the stuff that isn't important, to make room and time for the stuff that is.
In the end, relationships are the most important thing.
I think once you have mastered this, the guilt dissipates.
You are right, it is a big tetris game! Having a weekly routine helps me because it means I have daily major chores that needs to be done on certain days each week no matter what else is happening and i cant get out of it – Monday is clean the house from top to bottom, Tuesday is ironing & grocery shopping, wed, Thurs & Friday I work and my daughter goes to day care and the weekend is family time with all of the above mixed in. That routine works for us. Each day is jammed full. I would love a cleaner though…and an ironing lady…and a …
Hmmm. I wouldn't advocate that anyone ever pay heed to advice that I give in regards to organisation and life management!
However. Lately, I've been experimenting with letting certain things slide (eg, cleaning shower), and making others a priority rather than something to fit in (daily walks, more reading time with baby).
I think that becoming more comfortable with being a bit selfish can be quite helpful, to say no more to things that you don't want to do but feel obligated, etc. Lord knows, I'm not going to be lying on my deathbed wishing I'd spent more time cleaning the shower!
oh boy do i hear you… i never stop but i feel like i get nothing done because everyday, the things from my 'to do list' that i dont manage to get done… go to the next day!
there is constant noise in my head… the noise of my own thoughts reminding myself not to forget to do this or that…
some days i feel like a total failure but mostly ive just learnt that this is life. ive learnt to accept the imperfectness of it all. i cant imagine we ever get on top of things completely… just do your best cause thats all you can do… and dont forget to tell yourself how great you are from time to time!
rowe x
Chantelle great post! We can all relate too well to your comments, we have the same struggles and juggle the same balls. I remember thinking when my boys were young, very young, oh once they're in kinder, once they're in school, life will be easier. Let me tell you I was totally fooling myself, where did that misconception come from I wonder? Now being a 'school mum' I have about an 'extra' 30 hours a week to myself. Sure this seems alot, precious time indeed, but believe me each day my watch says 3pm in a flash.
Pop over to my blog and check out my posts on 'a month of me time'. I'm sharing a little of how I am slowly learning to give more time to ME! I'm learning not to sweat on the small stuff as they say. I'm looking after ME, focusing on ME!
I'm not sure that I will ever get the balance completely right. But life has to be almost perfect when one has good health and much happiness.
Mummy-bloggers are masters of life-tetris!! You're not alone. Just remember that there are only ever 24hrs in a day, and no matter how brilliant you are or how hard you try, you can't create any more.
You just have to let some things go, I think. The unimportant stuff. The stuff that doesn't really matter.
Oh I hear you, I just wrote a post about it. I wish someone would write a book on it so I could get some tips.
I've promised myself on Thursday and Friday nights I am taking myself off to the pool or on a walk to do some exercise to release some stress.
I think being a perfectionist is too much work. As long as everyone is happy that is all that matters.
You are doing a brilliant job by the way 🙂
x
Elizabeth Saxe Coburg-Gotha is an evil woman, why do we slave away at work our whole lives for money with her face on