ear Kim,
I think you’re pretty. I watch your TV show… sometimes. But I’m going to have to ask you to think before you tweet.
I would have tweeted in response but 140 characters will just not do. It will not do at all.
Being a new mum is one the greatest joys in life {as I’m sure you’ve realised with your sister recently giving birth}, but it’s also one of the most difficult too. We’ve either just given birth to something about the size of a watermelon from our lady garden nether regions or endured pretty major surgery in order to meet our little bundle of joy. It kinda hurts.
Whilst recovering from the birth, we’re being prodded and poked from any willing nurse that passes by. “Is your milk in yet?” they’ll ask as they squeeze our very tender breasts. Eventually the milk arrives, and any prudish attitude we’ve had towards others seeing our breasts goes out the window, but only when it comes to feeding our baby.
Sleep, or at least quality sleep is a thing of the past. We’re awake whilst most other women are getting their beauty sleep. We probably need it most {to help budge the stubborn bags under our weary eyes}.
We’re on a constant feeding schedule. For some it’s every hour, for others every three. This feeding doesn’t discriminate on whether the sun is up, or whether it’s night. When a baby is hungry, we’re there to feed them. We’re walking milk-bars, at the ready to soothe any cry or tired whimper.
Consider this: In the beginning it can take up around 40 minutes to completely feed a baby. An hour and a half later, we’re back feeding the baby again. We’ll start doing something, anything and then have to stop again and feed. In between feeds we’re changing nappies, attending to our birth wounds, applying lotion to our chapped nipples, attempting to shower for the first time in 3 days and contemplating finding something to eat that requires very little time and effort. If we manage to put a brush through our hair it’s a miracle, and if by chance we have time for face cream… it’s pretty darn note-worthy.
When heading out for a visit to the shops or eatery we need to pretty much pack the kitchen sink. Nappies, wipes, cream, bottles, dummies, toys, purse, keys, phone, spare brain and a truckload of patience are packed into one over-sized bag. Forgive us if we forget to pack a cover-up. Forgive us if we expose you to our breasts. Because perhaps we’re surviving on an hour’s sleep. Perhaps the baby has been crying all night. Perhaps we haven’t had any adult conversation for what seems like forever. Perhaps we’ve forgotten what it feels like to not be attached at the breast to a little human for a better part of the day. Perhaps we’ve stopped caring, just for a moment. Perhaps you need to walk a mile in a new-mama’s slippers before you judge them, and then tweet for the whole world to read.
Instead offer a smile, a nod, a knowing glance or tell us our baby is beautiful. Because we’re doing the best we can. We really are.
{and mamas all over the world}
P.S. I agree that perhaps a dining table isn’t the best place to change a nappy, but don’t judge. Let it slide. If only, this once. Tweet about something else.
Chantelle, who is the bitch who tweeted that? I am so glad you wrote this incredibly direct and to the point message. My daughters were born in 1977 and 1985, both nursed in a time when everyone else in the Lamaze class was bottle feeding and I was called lazy!
Go girl, i love you and your blog.
Well said! This is a tweet that could only come from someone who has never had a baby. Sure, it's not the best idea to change your baby on top of a table at a cafe, but like you said – we ARE doing the best we can.
I wonder if she's offended by women wearing tops that expose their breasts? I doubt it.
Well said, lets get this to her so she can read it!
I hear you on the breastfeeding! I wish people would just stop with the ridiculous judgements towards breastfeeding mums. It's not yuk, it's not sexual, it's not perverted, it's not showboating. It's food.
But I'm with Kim on changing the baby on the cafe table. NOT GOOD.
Well said Chantelle….Even if she ever does have a baby she will never understand motherhood like a regular mamma, she will have a nanny, minder, entourage, anything to help her out. I think you could speak until you were blue in the face & it would fall on deaf ears. Hopefully she comes across this post & thinks again, maybe even consider her sister in this predicament.
Nicely put, Chantelle, you put it much more eloquently than I would have!
Well said Telle!! How disgraceful that a woman in the public eye, with young female fans can discrimiate publicly against a breast feeding mother. I hope she recieves a big back lash.
Hmmm. Maybe someone should offer to give her a 'day in the life' so she expands her sympathy??!
You expressed my thoughts without one single swear! Thank you 😉
I can't believe people still have issues with a woman breastfeeding – I mean really get over it. It is a natural, wonderful thing!
Although nappy changes are not for the cafe table – ewww.
go girl ! very well said, I really hope she reads it !! PS I have no idea who Kim is.
Umm I think she shows her boobs more than a breast feeding mother. Maybe she should buy a blanket for her boobs instead.
As for the table part thats gross.
Yay for you Chantelle! I would not have been able to put it so nicely myself! Apart from all of your other very relevant points – is it not completely legal to breasteed wherever one needs to anyway, even without a, 'GASP' coverup!!!???
Great post!!! I have a 9 day old baby & when previously I would not even have a bra strap showing I will now do whatever it takes to make my little one happy & if that is pulling out my boobs in public to give my bub the best start in life then so be it.
I also hear you on nurses prodding tender breasts for days in hospital – ouch.
I totally agree with you about the breast feeding. When I go restaurants there are some people that eat like absolute pigs ie. cant get enough food into their mouth in one go and that makes me think ewww but I don't complain about them BUT the changing baby on table that is really ewwww. I dont want to go out and know their is a possiblity that there could be someone elses kids wee or poo on the table if it hasn't been wiped over properly. Thats really unhygenic and unfair for every other person that has to use that table.
Amen.
Couldn't have said it better myself! You go girl! 🙂
Hell Yeah! So well said Telle!!!!!
Good on you!!! I was horrified to read this article today http://www.news.com.au/world/baby-expert-kathryn-blundell-calls-breastfeeding-creepy-bemoans-loss-of-fun-bags/story-e6frfkyi-1225885051517
feeding in public- okay 🙂
nappy change on table – not okay 🙁
Well said, Chantelle! She definitely needs to think before she tweets!
Well said! I had to laugh at your 140 character comment because I had the same problem when I replied to her tweet last week.
I breast feed and second timevround I dont care who sees my breasts and I'm not the best at being discreet lol
Perfectly summed up. Perhaps if she's so offended by women's breasts, she ought to have a look in the mirror next time she wears a low cut top or poses in a bikini on a men's mag. Just a thought.
I'd love to see how she'd cope with a newborn. She'd have to do it on her own and not with the help of sisters, mum or friends or helpers. I'm sure if she had a baby she'd have 24×7 nannies. There's no way she would take the baby out to a restaurant on her own. Pity the poor baby she ends up having being raised by anyone but its mother.
Great letter, Breastfeeding is such a natural thing and I really cannot see how it would offend or disturb anyone else.
I have no issues with breastfeeding in public but I do think modesty should come into it. As a mother breastfeeding your child, YOU may be fine not covering up but others may not.
If someone is paying money for a meal, they have a right to feel comfortable while eating it – obviously Kim didn't feel comfortable eating hers while a mother breastfeed her baby openly at the next table, that's her right to feel uncomfortable about it.
I've heard both sides re the breastfeeding debate and the funniest thing I've heard re the “it's totally natural” comment is “well so is crapping but you wouldn't do that in public.
Changing a dirty bum on a table and on a table where people are eating, is just wrong and would contravene several health codes I would imagine.
Just because Kim doesn't have any children and speaks out about something that made her feel uncomfortable, everyone's so quick to judge her – yet you guys are having a go at her for doing what you're doing to her – JUDGING someone!!
No one in the world is perfect – least of all a celebritty.
*celebrity – damn sticky keys!
here here!!
AMEN sista! could not have said it better myself
Well said! Good on you for writing a response. I don't know who Kim is, a TV person I'm guessing, and not a very nice one at that.
xx
Even after reading your response, I still would have to agree with Kim. Anyone that changes their baby's diaper on a table at a restaurant, is absolutely disgusting. People are trying to eat! I don't care what all crap you have gone through to be a mom for a new baby. That was your choice to do so. The fact that you have to get up to go to the bathroom to change your baby's diaper is just something else you have to do. Another thing you have to do is at least do somewhat covering your breasts while breast feeding. If you want to be a mom, you just need to do those things – at least in America, that is ABSOLUTELY standard in society. Just because you have been poked and prodded to be a mom, doesn't give you special rights to be disgusting in public. People would like to finish their meals that they paid for, instead of loosing their appetite. Mind if throw up on the table? If you are changing your baby's diaper on yours, I'll just throw up on mine.
lol – i see everyone saying breast feeding is perfectly natural.
That doesn't mean it should be plopped out there for the world to see. Everyone in this world masturbates, but you don't see people doing it in a restaurant because the “natural” urge came up. geez!
Hear, hear you and NOT Kim Kardashian……
Fo' shizz.
thank you x
Well said.
Also 'Sharper,' who commented, I see your point but the 'masturbated' comment is a little over the top and completely unrelated to breast feeding a baby.
'Nuff said since you said it all!! 🙂 That would be awesome if she wrote you back and apologized or something. 🙂
I'm going to go ahead and say it, because it's going to bug me if I don't.
I don't think it is necessary to use a cover-up when breastfeeding in public. I'm aware that this means according to some commenters that I am disgusting.
Breastfeeding shows far less breast/skin than plenty of revealing clothing that gets worn by all manner of people. And to single out breastfeeding mamas for a modesty standard not applied to everyone is hypocritical – and indicates to me that there is a general discomfort with breastfeeding not with the amount of skin shown.
Secondly, babies are people. They have preferences. Sometimes those preferences include not caring for having a cover over them while they feed. Once they get old enough they might even start throwing it off.
So in a public situation, plenty of women would opt to feed without a cover, rather than have a crying, screaming, hungry baby on their hands.
I think choosing to use a cover or not is up to the individual woman's comfort level, not anyone else's and shouldn't be judged by others. And the fact that this originated from Kim, who exposes far more flesh than any breastfeeding mother ever would just makes it worse.
Thanks Chantelle for your brilliant post!
Hey Sharper…”everyone in this world masturbates”? CRAP! Where do you get that from? Yes over the past 20 yrs, the general trend is for film makers to give it the all-OK 'it's natural' thing. If you believe that and it makes you feel better, and justified well…that's your choice. But I don't.
Feeding a baby on the other hand – that NEEDS food IS undeniably natural!
Um sharper sorry but are u retarded! Women use their breasts to FEED a starving baby not for pleasure very different. babys have just as much rite as everyone els to eat in public. Sorry society has turned our natural breast that is 'designed' as a feeding device into a sex symbol.
You tell her Telle!